Mother’s Day Is Hard

There were years when I was in my 20s where Mother’s Day was hard.  I always love getting to celebrate my mother.  She’s amazing!  Full of love, laughter, beauty, and grace.  But when I was in my 20s, I was longing to become a mother.  Desiring, praying, hoping to pass on all the things I was taught by my mother to a child of my own.  There were many painful Mother’s Day Sundays where I sat in church and tried not to grieve too openly when mother’s were honored by getting to stand.  I wanted desperately to get to stand up.  In 2009, my biggest dream came true and God answered my deepest prayer by giving me my daughter Story.  It was literally as if all my dreams came true.  I told Chris Mother’s Day weekend that I couldn’t wait to celebrate on Sunday and that hopefully this would be the first Mother’s Day in a while for me that didn’t involve tears.  However, I cried anyway…but for different reasons.  My heart rejoices at the blessing God chose to give me, but it still aches for others.  Those that also face infertility, loss of a child, or loss of a mother.  Mother’s Day is hard for many people.  So I continue to cry and continue to be mesmerized by the gift of motherhood.  This year I started the cry fest a little early when I received this poem from Lifeline (Author Unknown):

“Once there were two women who never knew each other

One you do not remember, the other you call Mother

Two different lives shaped to make you one

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it

The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name

One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears

One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do

The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women are you the product of?

Both, my darling, both, just two different types of love.”

Adoption is beautiful thing.  Adoption is a hard thing.

Waiting and longing for Haven especially this weekend.

Celebrating and dreaming of being the best mother I can possibly be to him or her.

Praying over those that find Mother’s Day to be hard.