~Enigmatic Meanderings~

Something screwy is going on with my blog.

Some of you may have gotten a weird message from me in your RSS feed.

I’m sorry.

I’ve deleted what I believe to be the culprit post, and, hopefully, that has fixed the issue.

If not, please let me know.

Thanks.

Technorati Code

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Sorry for the week-long blackout.  I’ve been working on a few different things.  But rest assured… Enigmatic Meanderings will be back to its regularly scheduled programming beginning on Monday.

For, today, though I have a special Halloween treat for you all (or is it a trick?).

I stumbled across this video.  It’s of a math professor at Biola University named Matthew Weathers giving a special Halloween lesson.  It’s pretty clever and funny.  All math professors should be this goofy.

Enjoy.

If most of us saw a rabid spider monkey, I believe the first thought that would probably occur to us would be, “Oh, look, a monkey.  I love monkeys.”  However, once we noticed the foaming mouth and beady little eyes bent on our destruction, we might think twice and run in the opposite direction.  Conventional wisdom would tell us that rabid spider monkeys are to be feared.  However, I’d like to take a different stance.

Rabid spider monkeys are not to be feared.  In fact rabid spider monkeys can actually be your friend.  That is, if you just have a little information about rabid spider monkeys and you spend a little time with rabid spider monkeys, you can quickly learn to tame and master rabid spider monkeys.

It’s true.

Let me tell you how I’m going to command and conquer rabid spider monkeys.

It’ll help if I first inform you that when I’m talking about rabid spider monkeys I don’t mean actual rabid spider monkeys.  I’m not saying that rabid spider monkeys can’t or don’t exist.  They certainly could, I suppose, and probably do somewhere.  However, I’m choosing to not really worry about it.

When I say rabid spider monkeys, I just mean the phrase “rabid spider monkeys.”

As I mentioned yesterday, some of us at Student Life are in an e-commerce seminar, and it’s great.  Part of what we’re learning about is SEO or search engine optimization.  This has to do with the way that you use keywords to get noticed.  So, I picked a random one.

RABID SPIDER MONKEYS.

I googled the exact phrase “rabid spider monkeys” and say that it came up with about 15,200 results.  That means that over 15,000 websites have the phrase “rabid spider monkeys” in their content.  So, maybe there are at least 15,000 people who are actually concerned about rabid spider monkeys.

So, I’ve now placed the phrase “rabid spider monkeys” in my title and have repeated it over and over and over throughout this post (as I’m sure you’ve noticed).  I’m not going to create a “rabid spider monkey” category.  However, I will create a new tag that is “rabid spider monkey.”  I will also create tags that are various derivatives of that phrase.  Then I’m going to publish and see where I rank amongst the 15,000 websites that talk about rabid spider monkeys.  After I do that, I’ll come in this post and edit it to let you know.

Okay.  Let’s see what happens with all these rabid spider monkeys.

*UPDATE*

Look what happened.

Rabid spider monkeys rule!

This past weekend, I finally did it.  I cut off my cable.

Some of you may be thinking, “Big deal.  So, what?”  But to me it is a big deal.  In fact, I’m not sure I realized how much of a big deal it is until I actually disconnected the cable box and had my TV search for what channels I was now left with.  When the number popped up and I flipped through them, I had a physical reaction, something between nausea and heartache.  That’s the moment I knew I’d made the right decision.

You see, I watch a lot of television.  When I say “a lot,” I mean that if I’m at my house, the TV is at least on, but, chances are, I’m sitting there watching it.  Even if I’m on my computer or playing with Story or cleaning or even reading, my attention is at least split between that thing I’m doing and watching whatever’s on.  I’m too ashamed to assign a percentage to which usually wins out.

So, a while back, inspired by some other people I know, I decided to get rid of cable.  Notice I didn’t say I was losing TV completely.  No.  It’s still there.  I just installed an antennae in my attic that now basically picks up the major broadcast networks, PBS and about seven religious channels.

We’ve (Liza and I) done this before, but I honestly plan on this time being more permanent.  We don’t need cable.  We’ve still got some channels.  We’ve still got the internet.  And those things are really “needs,” but still…

The whole thing has kinda been like exorcising a demon in my life that’s been a welcome guest for far too long.  I know that sounds overly dramatic, but for me, that’s honestly what it’s been.

Anyway, if I had to put down my reasons for losing cable in list form, it would look something like the following:

1.  Save money.

2.  Free up time to do other things.

3.  Pay more attention to and spend more quality time with Liza and Story.

4.  Read more (especially my Bible).

5.  Simplify things.

6.  Increase how often I say, “there’s nothing on.”

7.  No longer be sucked in by cheesy B-movies on SyFy Saturday or anything with the suffix “of Love” in the title on VH1.

8.  Cease allowing Saved by the Bell on TBS to cut into my exercise time in the mornings.

9.  To stimulate Story through actual tangible means rather than flashing lights and loud noises.  I’ll leave that to her toys.

10.  Cut dependency on something that was never meant to be dependable.

So, there you go.

Won’t you join me?

So, this past weekend I drove over to Eagles Landing FBC south of Atlanta for the Georgia BCM’s Confluence Conference.  After a crazy week, I was looking forward to setting aside Student Life stuff for a couple of hours and focusing on something else.  I had been asked to come talk about creating authentic encounters with God.  That’s a pretty lofty request, but I gave it my best shot.  I really enjoyed working on it and had even more fun delivering the content I had worked on.  The crowd I was with was great, responsive and interactive.  I may have enjoyed it more than them, but if that’s the case, they didn’t let me know.  Hopefully, I can do some things for them in the future.

Anyway, as part of my preparation I ended up actually developing a formula for creating authentic encounters with God.  I now choose to share this insightful, provocative, profound, world-changing development with all of you.

Here’s the translation: Encounter equals God plus you minus the front you put up for the World plus Jesus divided amongst particular times and certain places to the power of the Holy Spirit.

Now, how exactly does that play out?

Well, that’s what the whole seminar was about, and I even ran out of time to fully cover it like I would have liked.  So, I can’t expound too much here.

You’ll just have to wrestle with it on your own.

Until next time…

I love Apple.  I get easily angered by PC’s.  I don’t stop everything to watch Steve Jobs’ keynote addresses or anything, and I’m usually a little late to the party with their new product releases, but I honestly sometimes wonder how my life could work without my Apple products.  Now, that’s ridiculous, I know.  So, to show I have a sense of humor, check out this example of absurdity.

Have a great weekend!

encounter

[en-koun-ter]

-verb (used with object)

1.         to come upon or meet with, esp. unexpectedly: to encounter a new situation.

2.         to meet with or contend against (difficulties, opposition, etc.): We encounter so many problems in our work.

3.         to meet (a person, military force, etc.) in conflict: We will encounter the enemy at dawn.

-verb (used without object)

4.         to meet, esp. unexpectedly or in conflict: We were angry when we encountered, but we parted with smiles.

-noun

5.         a meeting with a person or thing, esp. a casual, unexpected, or brief meeting: Our running into each other was merely a chance encounter.

6.         a meeting of persons or groups that are in conflict or opposition; combat; battle: Another such encounter and we may lose the war.

7.             Psychology. a meeting of two or more people, as the members of an encounter group or a number of married couples (marriage encounter), conducted to promote direct emotional confrontations among the participants, esp. as a form of therapy (encounter therapy).

This weekend I’ll be over at the Confluence Conference with the Georgia BCM’s.  I’m leading a “seminar” on creating authentic encounters with God.  My posts have been kinda lite this week because I’ve been spending lots of my free time working on the content.  That continues to be the case today.  So, I thought I’d take a minute to just ask you a simple question.

What was the last authentic encounter you had with God?

According to Google Analytics I had people from 27 different countries visit this site over the past month.  I don’t know if that’s a lot or not, but it is at least a lot for me.  So, I wanted to take a chance to greet all of you and let you know how glad I am you stopped by.  You’re always welcome here.  So…

U.S.A. – Hi.  Welcome.

South Africa – Dag. Welkom. OR Sawubona. Isibingelelo.

Belgium – Hallo. Feestelijk Inhalen.

Brazil – Olá. Boa Vinda.

Canada – Hello.  Welcome.  Eh.

United Kingdom – ‘Allo.  Welcome.

Philippines – Kumusta. Maligayang Pagdating.

Ukraine – привіт.  ласкаво просимо.

Indonesia – Salam. Selamat Datang.

India – हैलो.  स्वागत.

Russia – здравствуйте.  добро пожаловать.

Malawi – Moni.  Tikulandirani.

Albania – Përshëndetje.  Mirëseerdhët.

Pakistan – .سلام.  کا خیر مقدم

Chile – Hola. Bienvenido.

Qatar – أهل. مرحبا

Singapore – Halo.  Selamat Datang.

Puerto Rico – Hola. Bienvenido.

Australia – G’day.  Welcome.

Spain – Hola. Bienvenido.

Slovenia – Zdravo.  Dobrodošli.

Mexico – Hola. Bienvenido.

Austria – Guten Tag. Willkommen.

Malaysia – Halo.  Selamat Datang.

United Arab Emirates – أهل.  مرحبا.

Israel – שָׁלוֹם בָּרוּך הַבָּא

Sweden – Hej.  Välkommen.

Thanks for stopping by (though most of you bounced pretty quickly).

Y’all come back, now, ya’ hear?

A few months ago Erin, Andy and I decided to have this “competition” on our blogs.  We never followed through because Andy kept dragging his feet.  However, yesterday, Erin threw down the gauntlet.  Here’s her introduction to the whole deal.

“This morning, Kinsley, Monte, Andy, and I were in a Creative Team meeting for the Bible study for the company we work for (that was a good amount of prepositional phrases; my apologies). We tend to get a little punch-drunk during these meetings, and today was no exception.

I’m notoriously bad at forming complete ideas in Creative Team, as well as usually being the one to knock us off topic. I had some vague idea for an activity and when Monte pressed me to be more specific, I said something to the effect of, ‘Can’t the teachers just come up with that part?’ Andy remarked (sarcastically, I might add) that this was a great new idea for a Bible Study, just giving general suggestions. Kinsley christened our new idea ‘Mere Suggestions.’ And we decided to have a blog contest to see who could come up with the best lesson for ‘Mere Suggestions.’”

You can check out Erin’s submission here.

And now, I’m proud to present mine.

Mere Suggestions Bible Study

Lesson 1: Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Biblical Verse: “If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.” – Deuteronomy 25:11-12

Learning Goal: Students will fear getting their hands cut off if they venture below the equator.

Biblical Context: Women are trouble. Everyone knows that. No man wants one grabbing his junk in the middle of a fight. Students need to know, though, that there shouldn’t be any of those shenanigans in any situation. It’s wrong and dirty. Period.

Connect Activity: Tell some horrible stories about what happens to dirty little boys and girls who don’t keep their hands to themselves.

The Key Study: Read the verses and then yell at the group for awhile about keeping their hands to themselves to let them know how serious you are. If anyone raises their hand to ask a question, pull out a machete to make your point.  Tell them that somewhere else in the Bible it says something about people with crushed or cut genitalia being forbidden from coming before the Lord.

Transform: Show provocative photos and have the students slap themselves as hard as they can across the face anytime they think a dirty thought.  Then pray.

I hope this helps.