Mere Suggestions

A few months ago Erin, Andy and I decided to have this "competition" on our blogs.  We never followed through because Andy kept dragging his feet.  However, yesterday, Erin threw down the gauntlet.  Here's her introduction to the whole deal. "This morning, Kinsley, Monte, Andy, and I were in a Creative Team meeting for the Bible study for the company we work for (that was a good amount of prepositional phrases; my apologies). We tend to get a little punch-drunk during these meetings, and today was no exception.

I’m notoriously bad at forming complete ideas in Creative Team, as well as usually being the one to knock us off topic. I had some vague idea for an activity and when Monte pressed me to be more specific, I said something to the effect of, 'Can’t the teachers just come up with that part?' Andy remarked (sarcastically, I might add) that this was a great new idea for a Bible Study, just giving general suggestions. Kinsley christened our new idea 'Mere Suggestions.' And we decided to have a blog contest to see who could come up with the best lesson for 'Mere Suggestions.'"

You can check out Erin's submission here.

And now, I'm proud to present mine.

Mere Suggestions Bible Study

Lesson 1: Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Biblical Verse: “If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.” – Deuteronomy 25:11-12

Learning Goal: Students will fear getting their hands cut off if they venture below the equator.

Biblical Context: Women are trouble. Everyone knows that. No man wants one grabbing his junk in the middle of a fight. Students need to know, though, that there shouldn’t be any of those shenanigans in any situation. It’s wrong and dirty. Period.

Connect Activity: Tell some horrible stories about what happens to dirty little boys and girls who don’t keep their hands to themselves.

The Key Study: Read the verses and then yell at the group for awhile about keeping their hands to themselves to let them know how serious you are. If anyone raises their hand to ask a question, pull out a machete to make your point.  Tell them that somewhere else in the Bible it says something about people with crushed or cut genitalia being forbidden from coming before the Lord.

Transform: Show provocative photos and have the students slap themselves as hard as they can across the face anytime they think a dirty thought.  Then pray.

I hope this helps.