T-Minus 9 Hours
Until we report to Brookwood hospital for the birth of our daughter, Story Reese. I can't even begin to process all of this. I had a brief moment tonight where I seriously thought a panic attack might have been coming on. But I'm better now, and I'm pretty sure I just needed to get through all of that. Now, I'll be fine.
So many things keep running through my mind. Stuff I need to do. Stuff I wish I had done. I think I'm looking for things I can control and that I know I can do, because tomorrow... well, tomorrow is happening. I mean it feels like I'm just holding on for dear life. Like I'm going hyperspeed in the Millenium Falcon, only I'm like C3PO being thrown back into my seat. I just hope Liza doesn't have to flip my switch off.
I don't like not knowing things. I don't like not being a contributor. I don't like being out of control. Etc. So, this is good for me.
Plus... it's like this amazing culmination of all these years of struggle and prayers and fights and worries and hopes and... I don't know what else.
Everything. It feels like a culmination of everything.
I'm pretty sure tomorrow is going to be the greatest day of my life so far... maybe ever... I don't know... I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to be comparing it against.
Things I do know right now are...
1. My family is great. And pretty much all of you are included in that, whether related or not. So thanks. Your support and enthusiasm is humbling and amazing. I love you all.
2. Norman Gentle is the best thing to happen to American Idol.
3. Lost is blowing my mind, and I love it.
4. I'm "ready." I guess. I don't even know what that means.
5. Liza is currently my hero.
6. Time didn't stand still for me this week like I would have wanted, but I'm kinda okay with that.
7. I wish I had some chocolate chip cookies.
I don't know if I'll blog tomorrow, but I'll be twittering for sure. So, you can follow things there, if you're interested.
I don't have a good ending for this post.