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Archive - September, 2005

Xanga Post Friday September 23, 2005

September 23, 2005 in xanga 6

I promise this will be a worry free post.

I’m still listening to Dulcinea by Toad the Wet Sprocket.  I have rediscovered this album and have remembered how much I like it.  A lot.  That’s how much.

We just read through the first two acts of the first draft of the tour script.  It went well.  I got some good feedback and criticism.  So, those things are moving along nicely.

Not much planned this weekend.  I’ll probably work in my yard.  I learned what winterizer is today.  Don’t be jealous of my vast knowledge of horticulture.

Natlie is right.  People do have to minister to the middle class suburban white kids.  I apologize that my post belittled them.  After all, I’m one of them and I kinda like myself.

I’ve got a new book idea.  Maybe I’ll tell you about it later.

Holla.

Late Nite Ramblings

September 20, 2005 in Family, Whining, xanga 5

It’s 3:40 am.  I’m awake, obviously, and writing.  I doubt I sleep tonight so I should be really exciting at work tomorrow, or today or whatever.  There’s a number of reasons I’m awake.  One being, I’m forcing myself to write and am actually getting something done.  So, I’ll continue.  Another reason, is that I can’t shake some thoughts tonight that were keeping me up anyway.  So, since I’m tired, delirious, and a little pissy this could be one of the most honest and revealing posts to date.

I have a brother.  Craig is his name.  Craig is married to a great girl named Lori.  During high school and his early post hight school days, Craig lived a life of wreckless abandon to say the least.  Never, do I think, did he lose sight of God.  Perhaps he just ignored Him a bit.  At any rate, while Craig and Lori were dating they went to the Brownsville Revival in Pensacola and were baptized by the Holy Spirit.  Regardless of how you want to try to explain it, something miraculous happened in the life of my brother.  It was the most amazing and sudden life-change I have ever personally witnessed.

When this happened, I was not the most supportive of people.  Don’t get me wrong.  I thought it was great and it certainly was an answer to prayer, many prayers by many people.  However, at the time I was extremely egotistical about my theological training and my own faith journey (some might argue that I still am, but trust me it was worse then).  I wanted Craig to better explain what had happened to him, or to at least let me better explain it for him.  It led to a fight.  We blew up.  We never had the closest of relationships before, but suffice it to say, this didn’t help.  Shades of the prodigal’s older brother, I know.  I’m not proud.

However, Craig’s spiritual transformation jump-started a revival in my own family in which I have witnesses spiritual growth and maturity happen in the lives of so many I have known so long that in one way or another go back to Craig and this experience.  One of the fruitions of this being that my parents and sister now live in South Africa and Craig and Lori have moved to Vancouver.  All are involved in ministry on a global scale.  I write silly little sketches for middle class suburban white kids.

All of this has had impact on my own spiritual journey as well.  In the past few years I have seen some of the deepest, darkest valleys I’ve ever gone through as well as some of the most majestic peaks.  My own relationship with the Holy Spirit and thus Jesus and the Father has grown immensely.  I’ve experienced things I’ve only barely hinted at  with even my closest friends.

But now I find Craig has taken a place in my family that I used to fill.  He is the super spiritual leader of a young man.  He helped plant a church in Jackson and co-pastored it before moving to Vancouver (He’s 23, by the way).  He has seen miracles I’ve only read about in the Bible.  He is now being given a preaching and teaching ministry that will span the globe.  He’s being ordained next weekend.  He’s outlining his first book to be published.

He’s freaking stealing my dreams.  Not only stealing but fulfilling them.  He’s living parts of the life that I have wanted.  Is it selfish for me to think that?  Prideful?  Sinful?  Evil?  Yes.  But I can’t deny it.  I can only confess it.  I get angry and jealous.  I struggle with it, knowing it’s wrong.  I pray that my heart might be healed.  I tell God I trust Him and that I will follow Him wherever regardless of glory or success.  I ask Him to teach me and show me things like He has Craig.  I wait.  I work.  I study.  I listen. 

I’m a poser.  A fake.  A phony.  I got nothing.  If I showed you guys things I feel right now, you wouldn’t be able to look.  What’s wrong?  What did I do wrong?  What am I doing wrong?  I know those are the wrong questions.  But I’ve asked everything else already.  So, what am I left with?  Huh?

I can’t even think of a good way to end this post.  I’ll probably edit and delete it later anyway.  Who cares?

Blue Like Jeans

September 17, 2005 in Books, God, Random, xanga 3

That’s right.  I’m currently reading Blue Like Jazz.  I have said that I was going to read it for some time now, so I am.  I bought it yesterday and am almost finished with it, so a full review is forthcoming.  Initially, do I like it?  Yes.  Miller is witty and enjoyable, except for where he prints a monologue from a play he has written (or was writing).   Then, he’s pompous and pretentious.  But it was a play after all.  And for those of you who believe I am behind in just now reading Miller, know that I read his new book Through Painted Deserts when it was first published under the title Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance (and yes, I did read it simply because it had a picture of a VW van on the cover; and yes the title is a rip-off of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance).  Kudos to those of you who knew he even had a book out before Blue Like Jazz.  Kudos to Miller for jumping on the reprint bandwagon.

In other news: Nate hit me with what might be the most pointed comment I have ever received in response to a Xanga post.  With regard to my last little writing he comments, “I think posting here requires a certain amount of ego. Your putting your thoughts out there for people to read. Your not taking thier money but you are still asking us to read your thoughts and opinions.”  And he’s right, though I think I would like to deny that he is and say that I write here for myself.  That’s a lie.  In truth Xanga has often served to boost my self-esteem.  Though I do earnestly want to write for some greater purpose.

However, in an act of ego, I will now subject you, my loyal readers, to a post about my blue jeans.

I am a blue jeans kind of guy.  I love them and always have.  Though I have long outgrown my denim short phase, I still have a great affinity for the blue jean.  My blue jeans of choice?  Old Navy Vintage Washed Boot Cut.  I have a pair on as I write this.  In fact, I own about five or six pairs of jeans, but in actuality I wear only one. 

I have owned them since college, which means I have been married to these jeans longer than my wife.  I wear them nearly every day for some period of time.  Liza thinks it is ridiculous that if I am out of bed, I have a need to be fully dressed, and that most often involves putting on this one particular pair of jeans.  After a while, I wore a hole in the crotch.  This is a most inconvenient place to have a hole.  A hole in the crotch is not fashionable, cool, or trendy.  It is creepy and shady.  However, once the hole was worn, I could not part with this particular pair of jeans.  So, I kept them around for a while, months I believe.  I then cut up an old, black Student Life shirt and sewed a patch of it over the hole in the crotch.

I love these jeans (as much as you can use that word to describe your affection for something inanimate; if you know me you know that I often detest the limits of the English language).  They are a size smaller than what I normally have to buy in pants now.  They still fit only because I have worn them out so much.  But still it feels good to put them on at a size smaller than what I should.  I also purchased them a little too long so that the backs of the legs would bunch up under my feet when I wore sandals or flip-flops.  Eventually the very bottom wore off in the back and left a cool frayed look.  There are a few stains on them that I notice and remember what they’re from.  I often find items in the pockets that I have forgotten about, or that have been in there for a while and they make me remember other times when I was wearing my jeans.  They’re comfortable and make me feel comfortable regardless of if they are flattering or not.  They have a unique smell.  Liza says they smell like me.  I like that.  That I have a smell and that Liza knows it and doesn’t really mind it that much.

I think I’ll be sad whenever I am forced to part with these jeans for some reason.

I would make some parallel here between God and my jeans, which I could because I have already thought of one.  But I won’t because that would be pompous and pretentious, not witty and enjoyable.  So, I’ll just say…

I love God too (as much as I can even begin to grasp all the meaning in that word that the English don’t seem to bother with).

Oops.  I guess that was a bit of a parallel after all.

Yago arf amorphous mit du.

Xanga Post Friday September 16, 2005

September 16, 2005 in xanga 9

NO COLDPLAY SHOW!  BOO!!  HISS!!!

At least Liza will like that I’ll be able to hang out with her tonight.

In other news: I had a comp day, so I took it today.  However, I actually took it to get work done.  It’s amazing how much I can accomplish for Student Life away from the office.

Also, thank you to those who have encourage me on the book idea.  This one may not work out because of the other wheelings and dealings surrounding our ventures into trade publishing.  However, I’ll keep you posted on any other book ideas I might have.  Though it is weird to think about.

When we talked with Erwin McManus this summer, we asked him why he wrote.  He responded that he loves it, it’s an art form, etc.  but also that he believes that God has put something inside of him that he has to say.  I think I’m still waiting on what that thing is that I have to say.  When it comes to that ever elusive thing, I never feel very confident or original.  I think there is a certain amount of ego that goes into writing book.  In essence you’re saying, “I’ve got something important and original enough that people should buy it and read it.”  We’ll see if I ever get there.

Well, onward and upwards (ding).

Xanga Post Thursday September 15, 2005

September 15, 2005 in xanga 4

Made a pitch for a book today.  Without going into too much detail, Student Life Publishing is interested in eventually moving into trade publications.  We are also about to embark on a conference tour this spring featuring Erwin McManus and surrounding his new book Chasing Daylight.  I thought it would be a great idea to possibly write a student guide to Chasing Daylight that could be sold in conjunction with the book and also would be in partnership with Thomas Nelson Publishers and would make Student Life a viable name in trade books.  And Student Life actually has the contacts where this could be a possibility.

Selfishly, wouldn’t it be great to write a companion piece to a book that’s pretty much guaranteed to be a bestseller.  That way the next time I go to a publisher with a book proposal I can say, “look, my first book sold Xthousand number of copies.”  And maybe I could get Erwin’s representation.

I know, out-of-this -orld expectations.  Still, as the little slip of paper in my office says: “Dream Big.  There is little power in little plans.”

Don’t worry.  I won’t forget you guys.  You’ll just have known me when…

In other news: I’m going to see Coldplay tomorrow night.  Should be great.  Also, I’m consumed currently with the script for tour.  On top of the sixteen short sketches I have to finish.  I am a writing machine.

Don’t be jealous!

The Talented Mr. Coon

September 11, 2005 in Friends, xanga 5

I was wrong.  No interesting anecdotes.  SETC, so far, has left a little to be desired however we (Drew and I) are sitting in our call-back room waiting on the three people who accepted a call back to show up.  I think he is checking out Taylor‘s Xanga.  Though, I doubt Drew will ever have one himself.

Since I don’t have an anecdote to write about like I thought, I will have to write about something else, and I have a very special subject, one that will probably mean little to most of the regular readers of this site.  So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce:

Reasons I love John Mark Coon:
    1.  We were bed babies together.
    2.  We once tried to invent really cool Houdini escape tricks when we were younger involving rope and sleeping bags.
    3.  His mom never seemed to really mind much when I wet the bed at sleep-overs    (which I did until I was about eight years old [I'm going to regret writing that]).
    4.  During Vacation Bible School every year at Alta Woods Baptist Church, his dad made these sandwiches by mixing peanut butter and jelly together before putting on the bread.
    5.  After eating the sandwiches, he would convince my mom to let me go to Rapids on the Reservoir.
    6.  He didn’t make fun of me, only laughed, when I pulled the railing out of the wall while getting baptized.
    7.  He once got rid of his bed and put up a hammock instead.
    8.  He also had all of his friends sign his wall.
    9.  Jars of Clay once came to his house and signed said wall.
  10.  He got me my first professional acting job re-enacting the 1997 robbery of the Mississippi State BSU for Crime Stoppers.  We got paid $100.
  11.  He helped me in my first ventures into writing scripts, leading to us winning the Mississippi College Follies in 2000.
  12.  He forgave me when I got pissed and yelled at him over the production of that Follies skit.
  13.  He came to my grandfather’s funeral and let me hold his son, Max.  Holding a cute kid at a funeral really helps you deal with things.
  14.  He’s a drama teacher (on top of being an incredible artist; I still have one of his paintings hanging in my home office).
  15.  He tracked me down on Xanga to rekindle our friendship and get back in touch.

There you have it.  He’s a helluva guy.

Xanga Post Saturday September 10, 2005

September 10, 2005 in xanga 3

So, 10 days since I last posted.  What a ten days.  If I were to try to write about everying that has happened or been discussed in the past ten days this post would rival both Buechner posts combined.

I’ll just say this: We (Drew and I) are in Charlotte for SETC starting tomorrow.  We just got done with Student Life staff retreat, which was by far the best staff retreat I’ve been on.  I’m sitting here in my hotel room watching a special on the beginning and early days of Saturday Night Live.  I’ve always wanted to audition for SNL to be a performer or writer.  This special, which I’ve seen before, only causes that desire to grow.  Why?  For mainly one reason that actually has little to do with SNL.  I long to be a part of a group like that who are working for a common goal, trying to accomplish something important to them and have a blast while they’re at it.  I’ve experienced this a few times in life: 1995 6th place finishing World class OM team, 1996 Mighty Madison Central Jaguar Marching Band, 2000 Shawreth follies skit, 2001 MC directing class… and perhaps a few others.

However, I realize that I am also experiencing this now.  To all of you with whom I get to serve, work and live life, thank you.  Maybe they’ll make a special about us one day.  Though, probably not.  It would only go to our heads.

In other news, we (Drew, Sarah Mac, Hannah, and I) all drove back from staff retreat on Friday night to arrive in Birmingham sometime between 3:00 and 3:30 in the morning.  All this after a full day that began at 4:45 am when I awoke to go bottom fishing in the gulf.  I was very tired and slightly delirious and ended up talking to Sarah and Hannah while Drew slept about old loves of mine for about an two hours.  What was I thinking?  Sorry, ladies.

My next post will be better and more pointed and probably full of interesting antecdotes from the auditions here.

Holla.